Where You Go Bernadette?

So I spoke to your regular doctor. He wrote you a prescription for a scopolamine patch for motion sickness and Xanax for anxiety. “No, I think I might have some Xanax at home. D-Do you have, um, a… some kind of laminated chart, you know, that shows what all the little pills look like? It’s just that I poured all of my prescriptions into this antique jelly jar. I mean, the colors and shapes are amazing together. But then of course I realized that they…” Well, you get it. Right. Fine.

“Her first job was typical grunt work, laying out bathrooms in the executive wing. I mean, she wanted to know how often the executives went to meetings, at what time of day, the ratio of men to women. I finally asked her, ‘What the hell are you doing?’ And she said, ‘I need to know what problems. I’m solving with my design.’ You know, I would like to say that I recognized the talent that would emerge. Although I did like the sweater that she knitted for me. I actually, I-I still have it. Here, look. Look at this. Pretty interesting.”

“And, well, Elgie once gave me this locket of Saint Bernadette. You know… She had 18 visions, right?” Right. “And he always said the Beeber Bifocal and Twenty Mile were my first two visions. And so I leaned in and I said to my beautiful little blue guppy, I said, ‘You are my other 16 visions all rolled into one.’ And she is. And now, I blinked, and she’s going across the country to boarding school.”

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